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This week was hectic and flew by quickly! My family and I went down to see my father's side of the family because my grandmother needed a pacemaker put in and my uncle is suffering from major heart complications and is in a coma. Also, my husband and I had a lot to do with figuring out where we want to live because our lease is up in a month.
Yesterday, my family and I went to Mimi's Cafe and the waitress asked about my daughter having special needs, because her son also does. We chatted for a bit. She said I was doing a good job, and us special needs parents need to stick together. She was really sweet to my daughter, and made me feel good.
Then, I went to Macy's and the cashier asked me if my daughter had Autism as does her son. She couldn't believe how well my daughter was doing. She said she doesn't take her child out because people stare and make rude comments when he has a meltdown from getting sensory overload, (that's when kids with Autism can't tolerate the noise volume or the large crowds.). I gave her some tips for her son, and told her that those things use to really bother me when my daughter was younger. However, I learned along the way that we have to live our lives too, and our kids have the right to go places. I know it's easier said than done, but to ignore those people like they aren't even there and give herself and her son the life she wants, instead of staying indoors all the time. She got teary eyed, told me I was a good mom, and said I gave her hope. It made me feel good, to be able to help someone who was going through such a tough time. My husband was with me and couldn't believe I had run in to two special needs moms in one day.
My daughter's social worker had told me a while back that he thought it was wonderful that I had my daughter in so many activities (gymnastics, swimming, and horseback riding), because a lot of special needs families (especially those who have children that have severe needs), don't go out. We recently took my daughter to Disneyland, and had some very negative experiences with people. My daughter touched a kids balloon and the father got angry, she grabbed another kid's cup and that father tried to yell and get in my daughter's face, and I got in front of her, and angrily yelled at him. My daughter is eleven, but very childlike, innocent, and doesn't understand societal norms. We've been working hard on teaching her, but it takes time for her to learn, and social cues and societal rules are the hardest with Autism.
So I urge you to be that smile or patient person, the next time you're out and you see a child having a fit, (it might be from sensory overload or because a child is mentally younger than you realize.). Or, if you see a child touch or grab something, (for example my daughter put her hand on a lady's cart at the grocery story, and she got angry, because she said "excuse me that's my cart," and my daughter didn't immediately remove her hand. These kids need the practice of being out in public, and should be able to go fun places like any other child. Their disabilities already take so much away from them, and sometime what they need, as well as their exhausted and embarrassed parents, is to be shown, kindness, compassion, and patience.
Yesterday, my family and I went to Mimi's Cafe and the waitress asked about my daughter having special needs, because her son also does. We chatted for a bit. She said I was doing a good job, and us special needs parents need to stick together. She was really sweet to my daughter, and made me feel good.
Then, I went to Macy's and the cashier asked me if my daughter had Autism as does her son. She couldn't believe how well my daughter was doing. She said she doesn't take her child out because people stare and make rude comments when he has a meltdown from getting sensory overload, (that's when kids with Autism can't tolerate the noise volume or the large crowds.). I gave her some tips for her son, and told her that those things use to really bother me when my daughter was younger. However, I learned along the way that we have to live our lives too, and our kids have the right to go places. I know it's easier said than done, but to ignore those people like they aren't even there and give herself and her son the life she wants, instead of staying indoors all the time. She got teary eyed, told me I was a good mom, and said I gave her hope. It made me feel good, to be able to help someone who was going through such a tough time. My husband was with me and couldn't believe I had run in to two special needs moms in one day.
My daughter's social worker had told me a while back that he thought it was wonderful that I had my daughter in so many activities (gymnastics, swimming, and horseback riding), because a lot of special needs families (especially those who have children that have severe needs), don't go out. We recently took my daughter to Disneyland, and had some very negative experiences with people. My daughter touched a kids balloon and the father got angry, she grabbed another kid's cup and that father tried to yell and get in my daughter's face, and I got in front of her, and angrily yelled at him. My daughter is eleven, but very childlike, innocent, and doesn't understand societal norms. We've been working hard on teaching her, but it takes time for her to learn, and social cues and societal rules are the hardest with Autism.
So I urge you to be that smile or patient person, the next time you're out and you see a child having a fit, (it might be from sensory overload or because a child is mentally younger than you realize.). Or, if you see a child touch or grab something, (for example my daughter put her hand on a lady's cart at the grocery story, and she got angry, because she said "excuse me that's my cart," and my daughter didn't immediately remove her hand. These kids need the practice of being out in public, and should be able to go fun places like any other child. Their disabilities already take so much away from them, and sometime what they need, as well as their exhausted and embarrassed parents, is to be shown, kindness, compassion, and patience.
Last Week on the Blog:
*Holding on to Forever by Siobhan Davis & SB Alexander (Blog Tour & Book Review)
*Fake Date (Dating #2) by Monica Murphy (Blog Tour & Book Review)
You know those judgey people know your child has special needs. You would think they could have some empathy. My aunt raised two children with special needs (brain damage, intellectual disability) and my cousins were not easy to go out with, but no person should be a prisoner. If they are uncomfortable, that's on them. Sorry to hear about your uncle and grandma. I hope both enjoy a speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sam :) Yeah, you can tell that my daughter has special needs if you look at her for more than a minute. She stims a lot and is non-verbal.
DeleteYou are a good mom. Some people are just unkind. I'm sorry. I hope you figure out your plans and have a wonderful week!
ReplyDeleteAnne - Books of My Heart Here is my Sunday Post
Thanks Anne. I hope you have a wonderful week as well :)
DeleteWow that's neat you ran into both those parents and were able to give them solid advice. And you're so right- compassion and kindness (especially towards kids!) should go without saying, and it's a shame people have to be reminded sometimes or lose sight of that. I think it's great too that you take your child out, even if other people aren't always considerate.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes to your grandmother and uncle too.
Thank You Greg :)
DeleteYou have so much on your plate right now. I am sending good thoughts to you and your family. And a big hug to you.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you were able to be there for that mom in the store. And I am sorry for what you and your daughter experienced at Disneyland. I realize people's tempers are short in places like that because of the crowds, heat, and long lines and such, but it's no excuse to be so rude to others, especially not children.
I hope you have a better week, Lindy.
Thank You :)
DeleteWOW Lindy!! What incredible experiences being able to talk to these two moms!! My nephew is autistic so I totally get it. I love going out with him places and it doesn't bother me at all. But we've really worked with him and he doesn't melt down as much now. I feel for moms who struggle more with this. But you are so right!! They deserve to go places too. How different is it that a child who is playing on a tablet with the sound on max? That's pretty annoying to me since we are in public. Still we tolerate it and so why can't we do so, at the very least, for a special needs child! (I hope that made sense ❤️)
ReplyDeleteIt was a great experience:) That's like my sister. She really has an active role in my daughter's life, and they spend a lot of time together.
DeleteCompassion should be the default, not the exception. Well done for reaching out, and being such a great mom.
ReplyDeleteI hope circumstances with your family members improve
Have a great reading week.
Thanks Shelly! I agree about compassion being a default, not the exception :)
DeleteOh, Lindy you are an inspiration for special needs parents! I'm happy you shared your experiences with other moms and I hope it motivates them to live their lives more fully! I'm sorry you've had some negative experiences from short-sighted, impatient people! People can be so rude and horrible! Yet, I know a smile or kind word can go a long way in someone's life. Virtual hugs to you and your daughter! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words Rachel :)
Delete